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I was having a good laugh with this topic,but VP that link has really made my christmas ,and for the ladies go to the link and then the parody,sorry don't know how to do the link stuff,hope every body has a very merry christmas,garyh
garyh wrote:I was having a good laugh with this topic,but VP that link has really made my christmas ,and for the ladies go to the link and then the parody,sorry don't know how to do the link stuff,hope every body has a very merry christmas,garyh
Craig52 wrote:Me never Gary , good one Dave. Craig
garyh wrote:I was having a good laugh with this topic,but VP that link has really made my christmas ,and for the ladies go to the link and then the parody,sorry don't know how to do the link stuff,hope every body has a very merry christmas,garyh
Highlight the webpage or text ...right button click with mouse...hit copy...select where you want it right button click..hit paste...
The Bitterness of Poor Quality Remains Long after the Sweetness of Cut Price is Forgotten
Still time for some festive cheer and If you are into political correctness (as I am) . . You will love this . .
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Al .l Employees
DATE: November 1, 2015
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the
private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have
a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up
dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of
gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no
gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy
for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 2, 2015
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas,
though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday
Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who
are not Christians and to those still celebrating
Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols
will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 3, 2015
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign
your name...
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign
on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be
anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are
allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too
much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little
chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: November 4, 2015
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December
20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids
eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can
hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or
else package everything for you to take it home in little
foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women
will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own
table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's
table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill
House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently
because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.
Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of
salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that
people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for
diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar"
desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: November 5, 2015
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian !@#$!!! We're going to
keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the
"grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get
your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing
them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my @#$. I hope
you all have a rotten holiday!
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: November 6, 2015
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll
continue to forward your cards to her at the home.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
off with full pay.
Happy Whatever!
Joan
Have to agree, Australia has gone politically mad. On another note, the Chinese have poached our exported food product labels and put them on their home grown products so the locals will buy them thinking they are Australian products.
Serves our Government's right for thinking they can trust everyone, oh this great free trade agreement, not. Craig
Dont watch if easily offended.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeylbaBG5YM
Craig
To paraphrase. 
Craig
